Guess the last time I heard this song was during EW, but it didn't touch me as much as it did today. It broke me down. I know that I've done wrongs, but God says, I'm always your father, and I will always be your father. The question is, whether I want to be His child.
I haven't trusted Him enough, and that is why He couldn't work fully in my life. That is why I have felt dry in my walk with Him, even though I seemed to be doing all I should - quiet time, cell, church, serving Him. All that a Christian should do, seems like I did. But I didn't trust Him fully. He said do not fear, but still I feared. He said everything will be fine, but I claimed that things won't, that there's still something that God doesn't get me.
But it's not true at all. God is god. He is my father, regardless of who I was, what I've done. He told me, it's okay, it's okay. It's just okay. I didn't know how to love, I think I've led people away from Him instead of to Him, even this that I've done. but He said that it's okay. He has it all in control. I was torn, and He whispered gently in my heart. He said that if He's here with me physically, He'll be the one wiping away my tears. I heard it.
I felt that my life was in a mess although others may not see. But He's the reason, and the cross that He died on, that it doesn't matter anymore. His love is all that matters.
He broke me down, but it's alright. Because through that He's picking me up. He is able to do that. He is our God, our Father.
Yee Kuan
4 comments:
I don't know what you are going through now, but if a Christian's life is too smooth and "troubleless", that may seem boring and wrong! Not saying you deserve to go through whatever you are experiencing now.
Sometimes when I felt like I'm getting no where, it kind of reminds me what SW described the life of a Christian in a graph, where it goes up and down, and at sometimes, plateau. I sometimes take it as a sign that I have not been doing something right, or, I need to bring it up to the next level with what I'm doing now. The reason is the more challenges we faced, the better we become, in many ways, whether we like it or not.
Reading from your post, if you look closely, you have clearly identify the areas which need to be worked on. I actually think it is brilliant because you know where the problems are, and not living in denial in which many times people like to do, to escape from reality. So just pray that you will stay strong, face those areas which you identified, but you won't be alone, because the Lord is always with you, the Holy Spirit dwell in you, may the Holy Spirit renew you each day and fell more afresh each day. Gambate!
And as I typed the song "Oceans will part" came into my mind, don't know why, but maybe you can listen to it and maybe pay a little bit of attention to the lyrics? If not, just enjoy the song :)
Thanks CF!! Yea i know, felt so so so much better after this aftnoon, when I think God really spoke to me. Janice asked me if I'm "always so sensitive to the Holy Spirit, to what God says", but no.. i don't think so. but i think at His perfect timing, He'll just reveal what He intends to to me. And it helped me to think through something. Once again I felt refreshed cuz of His love. PTL =D and all glory be to Him! =D
James 1:2-6
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
Think this is what you meant CF, and what I mentioned (verse 6) :)
yup, a really nice summary i guess. haha.
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